Thailand ~ A quick blurb on our touring of Temples (Golden etc.)

- Amazing mosaic tiles: their colour, symmetry and patterns

- Gold leaf everywhere

- Huge gorgeous buildings and massive amounts of gold and silver

- Foreign motifs

- Spectacularly coloured roofs

- All silver floor panels

- Gorgeous enamel and relief flowers that were so ornate and pretty I almost cried! Really!

Thailand ~ Elephant Sanctuary

Under construction...

Thailand ~ Bus tours… Yes, still cheezy

- Mechanically get on

- Listen to some dude explain what ever story he wants, with discrepancies in every language and in general

- Get off

- Stand in line to pee

- Walk around a site, dazed for 15 minutes, rush to take photos which are infiltrated with so many tourists that you just can’t Photoshop them out…

- Go the gift shop cuz it’s the only way out…

- Walk out uncertain of what you just saw

- Get back on the bus like a lemming…

- Repeat

Chiang Mai, Thailand ~ The Floating Market

We took a day trip to the floating market. It was a drastic change of scenery, which impacted most of our senses simultaneously. It was crowded, energetic, commercial, hot, noisy, colourful, intense and relaxing all at once. It was amazing! It was, as usual a very sunny day. That being the normality, hats are provided for every boat passenger. Can you imagine it? A line of passengers wearing the same hat! It’s a bit funny!

The market was super crowded but felt safe. There was cooked and fresh food served everywhere including / especially from the boats. Most of the merchants / boat captains are women. It's a tough job! They are exposed to the sun all day, wearing long sleeves to protect their skin and gloves to protect their hands. Their hands are constantly busy rowing, maneuvering, cooking or serving. I guess it’s all in a days work! We are still not sure how we were negotiated through the gridlock of the canals unscathed. The boats were somehow maneuvered very smoothly without loss of any passengers or their fingers.

There was merchandise for locals and tourists alike. Unfortunately, we got taken on the tourist circuit instead of the authentic local circuit, but we enjoyed it none-the-less. In addition to all the food, we saw toys, trinkets, leather goods etc. and were amused that even in these remote, watery locations they accept VISA!

We actually saw one boat with pomelos piled so high that the rim of the boat was almost to the level of the water! Yumm, pomelo’s!!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pomelo

All in all, the tour was quite a comfortable and very enjoyable!

Chiang Mai, Thailand ~ Cooking class

So this is one of the many highlights for both Evgueni and I. Originally, I was considering a 3-day class until I realized half a day would do.

On the menu: 5 dishes. 5 dishes!!

- Hot and sour soup

- Phad Thai

- Green mango salad with sticky rice

- Green curry

- Steamed banana-coconut cupcake served in a banana leaf cup

We started in the market, as this is where every good meal begins. We reviewed tropical fruits, local snacks, a large variety of rice (including sticky rice), seafood, vegetables etc. I was in horror to learn the numerous forms eggplant camouflages its little evil zip... Good to know!

We ogled in awe at the assortment of things that are sold in little plastic bags (including beverages)!

Most importantly, however, we learned about heat. The heat from the chili is a sacred thing. It is not to be underestimated. The colour to watch for is green if you want heat. But if you're safety-savvy, you already knew that.

We arrived at our cooking class, a tidy and sterile space with a classroom and a large open area with a dining table and about 15 little side-by-side kitchenettes. Each kitchenette had it’s own gas burner, sharp knife with cutting board, clean cloth, cookbook and apron. This open area had only a corrugated fiberglass cover to protect us from the elements (remember, it was already excessively hot in Chiang Mai, so add a bit of chili and we’re on fire!). Fortunately, by now, we were 'used to' the heat but were scorching to say the least once we started with the chili’s!!

Before we started each course we had a little class where we closely observed our Grand Master Chef Extraordinaire “Oh” prepare the dish in approximately 4 minutes. Even when she was momentarily interrupted by 'boyfriend number 5', she was a wizard making learning easy and fun. A large ceiling-mounted mirror allowed us to see what was going on inside the wok while she tossed in sauces and ingredients, stirred then tasted. We were all amazed and enjoyed tasting Oh’s masterpieces.

After making each course, we ate. 'Ahhhuumm... tastes good' as our Grand Master Chef Extraordinaire would regularly say (usually after adding 3 additional tablespoons of her favourite albeit smelly, fish sauce).

We then left the classroom to find our little workstations fully-equipped with all the pre-chopped ingredients ready for our experimentation. We could measure out sauces in portions we desired (sour, sweet and hot - whatever our preference). It was blissful! So we tossed our sauces and ingredients in, stirred and presto! Something real! Then we each slurpppped greedily at our hot and sour soup. The best hot and sour soup I've ever tasted (if I may say so myself!). In the meantime, our workstations were miraculously cleaned and fitted with the next set of tools and ingredients (if only this happened at home!!!). What a treat!

Next came the (my) sacred phad Thai. Ahhhh, tastes good!! We learned the precious art of garnish for each of our dishes. We decorated our dishes in ways we never dreamed. So pretty and so simple! Although, I never quite mastered how to curl my green onion… it was like over-curling a ribbon – it abstains from curling.

After the phad Thai, we learned about chili. The less you chop or mash, the less heat they give off. The later you add them to your dish, the less heat they give off. If you chop them perpendicular to their length, again, the less heat they give off (notice a theme here...) so if you want heat, chop your green chili’s on an angle (almost parallel to the pepper shape), add them to your dish early-on and cut or mash them a lot. To give you an idea: Evgueni and I made our green mango salad together and naturally it has to have heat. I always thought I could handle a reasonable amount of heat. I was soooo wrong! I asked our Grand Master Chef Extraordinaire how many chili’s we should add. She said '5'. I asked her how many she liked and she said '10'. So we used 3, barely chopped, barely mashed and left-out-of-the-sauce-until-the-last-possible-minute... and the heat was... well... HOT. Next time, 1 maybe 2 chili’s are in order, of course they will also will be barely mashed, chopped and added as late as possible.

The sticky rice was made on the side and was quite fascinating. With my fingers, I enjoyed making sticky-rice balls. It was also delicious and dampened the heat of our mango salad. Wowza!

At this point in time we made the green curry and the delicious steamed banana-coconut dessert. These dishes take a bit more time to fully mature in flavour. Note: I used squash chunks instead of eggplant in my green curry due to my allergy. A delicious substitute!

All the dishes were scrumptious and we enjoyed them very much. We had a wonderful time learning and cooking and remain grateful to our Grand Master Chef Extraordinaire Oh and are glad she is kept happy by all of her boyfriends! :)

PS I would never have survived 3 days! :D

Bangkok to Chiang Mai ~ Our Overnight Train

This train had many tourists and some locals. We had an 8 hour train ride. We boarded in with our group and shared a train car with them and some strangers. We had a decent “train dinner” then chatted for a while. Without much delay a lady wearing a hygienic facemask and rubber gloves came around and asked us to kindly step aside. Within 2 minutes flat she did the following impeccably:

- Dropped the top bunk from the wall and secured it,

- Pulled the two facing seats flat to make the bottom bunk,

- Put sheets and blankets on both bunks,

- Loosened curtains for visual privacy and

- Wished us a pleasant sleep.

Amazing!! The bunks were about the width of a large single bed. I had the bottom bunk and slept really well. Evgueni had the top bunk and an emergency light that stayed on all night. He didn’t sleep well at all - poor guy!!

Bangkok, Thailand ~ Our Impressions & Learning's

Bangkok is busy. We liked it and toured around as much as time would permit. We felt relatively safe and free to discover new places. I had my bodyguard (Evgueni) and we kept our wits about us.

Transportation: There is a lot of crazy traffic. There are many motorcycles with families piled atop, busses, cars, tuk-tuks, bicycles with passengers, longboats etc. all full to the brim. Somehow, it seems to move well.

The Longboat: I liked this mode of transportation. There is a sophisticated and efficient public transit system along the canals (khlongs). It even includes an express line! You wait at the Longboat stop like waiting for a bus – with a reliable schedule you can figure out. The boat comes-up and quickly, almost passes you at your stop. There is a sharp double whistle from the stern operator so that the driver all the way at the front (about 15 meters forward) knows when to cut the engine. They rope in the bucking boat and passengers pile on the stern. We - well, I – had to be especially careful which side I waked forward along since one of the sides is reserved for Monks who are not permitted to touch women. And of course, it’s usually quite crowded. So I pressed through the other side. You wouldn’t believe how many women tourists I saw squeezing past the reserved Monk area oblivious to the ever-accommodating Monks. Oh and you think this is the only obstacle? No, tall people stick to the back since the ceiling drops as you get closer to the front. OUCH!!

The mode of fare collection is subtle and well done. It is based on the memory system. That is, the memory of one fine (usually woman). She comes around shaking a little tin that looks like my metal hello kitty pencil case from high school only worn-out and round. She takes one look at any person and knows if they’ve paid or not. So you pay, she gives you a ripped ticket and off she goes. She remembers your face for the entire ride. It’s amazing!!

So… just a warning: sometimes the river is wavy and the Longboat splashes. Evgueni and I took to covering our mouths because somehow, that’s where the splash usually landed. This was more the case in the smaller water taxi longboats we took through the residential canals. I digress… These were much shorter (although still long) and about 2 people wide instead of 12. They had motors with the propeller at the very end of a very long metal rod. I suppose this was due to shallow waters and tight turning radii in the canals. I still wonder how the drivers didn’t get caught on each other’s motors.

So down these residential canals we learned more about how the average local lives. These homes are made of all sorts of materials but mostly of wood slats. They are quite open to the canals so we could see directly into homes. Usually the bathroom and kitchen looked over the canal, but purely for practical plumbing reasons and not so much for aesthetics. We could see pipes from sinks stop just over the canal with “water” pouring right out. Hummm. See why we covered our mouths? We also found it amusing that the electrical poles stood right in the middle of the canal providing electricity to these homes. Shocking!!

The Heat: It’s stinking hot. It’s humid and we got sticky, sweaty and dirty. It’s really easy to dehydrate in a matter of hours so we drank tons of water / electrolytes all the time. Funnily, my body became a reservoir. I got swollen while retaining water from the day then I’d release it all after I’d been in air conditioning for a few hours... maybe that’s too much info, but I’m happy to announce that my body is an intelligent machine!

The Foot Fetish: Feet are BAD BAD BAD! Do not step / stomp on coins if they are rolling away because ultimately, you are stepping on the King whose face is on the coin. You would be surprised what comes instinctively when it’s forbidden!! Also, do not point your feet at the Buddha or at people. This includes resting your feet on a stool with your soles pointed at someone especially if it is higher than their head etc. Oh and not about feet: don’t pat anyone on the head. Easier said than done. I almost touched a little kid on his head in a crowded Longboat as a kind “move over” gesture. Whoops!

Poverty: It is abundant. Many people live in shacks by canals. The more affluent can afford small apartments. Many people commute by public transit long distances to earn small incomes to feed and clothe their family. Some own a motorcycle for their family. Many people are constantly finding creative new ways to earn money.

Clothing: Well, as you guessed, there is not a lot of money so things are worn until they disintegrate. We were on a Longboat when I saw a mother with her 2 daughters. A chubby 9ish year old and her younger sister of about 5. The older daughter had a large shirt that said, “Flip a coin! Heads: I give you head, Tails: you give me tail”. I was horrified. I wanted to tell the mother that this shirt was TERRIBLE! But what can be done? It’s probably the only thing they could afford or something they got from a charity. I felt impotent to the situation and said nothing. I’m still not sure if inaction was the right thing to do.

A Tip: Take off your shoes and cover your shoulders and legs (to your knees) when visiting temples.

A Tourist Scam: Don’t take the free ride. Tuk-tuk drivers offer tourists a free or discounted tour and take you all around the city to markets, tourist attractions, restaurants etc. where they get garnished shares of whatever you spend there. They wait for you at each destination to whisk you to the next. We found this scam pretty easy to avoid, without even knowing about it until after. A great marketing strategy if you ask me!

A Tourist Spot: There is an area where all the back-packers hang out. Some of it is cool and interesting but unfortunately, not all of it. I felt out of place. Although I’m a tourist (blech!!) and am about the age of these people, I don’t fit in. I felt like I was more genuine than any of these tourists in my average clean clothes and combed hair. These people are not poor, but dress like it in their first-hand clothes that look second-hand. They eat in poshy-run-down-but-elite coffee houses. They buy junky, touristy stuff and act like they own the place. In my opinion it was an overrated tourist spot and the tourists seemed to contradict their own ‘message’ of ‘roughing-it. What I did like was the place that bought and sold used trekking shoes to these folks. So in this regard, they were indeed genuine. Haha! Very interesting!

A Tourist Spot: The Grand Palace and the Temple of the Emerald Buddha – Just amazing!!! Truly beautiful! It was very colourful and bright. A must see!

Bangkok, Thailand ~ Arriving

It was chaotic. We saw it from a flying taxi.

Let me explain without delving into too much detail. Our flight was late arriving, there was 1.5 hours worth of traffic to get across the city in under an hour. We negotiated an inflated fare for a taxi that flew over and around unprecedented traffic. We broke numerous rules to get into the only Air Canada office in our immediate past, present and future countries to fix a ticket routing problem. Welcome to Bangkok!

We inadvertently displayed socially incorrect manners: shock, annoyance and forcefulness: “What do you mean we need our actual passports to get into the building? We have photocopies?!? And we have 5 minutes before the office and our only window of opportunity closes and we have no other chance to fix this!”

We were asked for bribe money (and ignored the request). Then, we were miraculously and fortunately graced by an Air Canada employee who let us past the guard dogs and resolved our re-routing issues by staying 45 minutes overtime on the start of her long weekend. (Truthfully, on a larger scale, it was the least Air Canada could do considering our multi-continental ordeal and hours of futile and ridiculous telephone conversations endured to modify our flights....). We were very grateful and relieved nonetheless.

In all the chaos of logistics we missed the start-up meeting with our new travel companions. Fortunately, we managed to catch-up with them in time for dinner. There were Kiwi's, UK-ers, Aussie's and Canadian's (dentists, teachers, caregivers, engineers) - newbie and experienced travelers alike. Our guide was a very sweet and soft-spoken local named 'Dream'. We all got along extremely well, and made fast friends. At dinner, Evgueni and I started to relax at last, finally changing gears from Cambodia and the aforementioned bureaucratic chaos and slowly easing right into Thailand mode.